


Epic

by PetrichorPerfume



Series: Shenanigans [189]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Chocolate, Cuddling & Snuggling, Family Feels, M/M, about elves, and other things, gabriel writes a story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-08-13 21:25:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7986784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetrichorPerfume/pseuds/PetrichorPerfume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Gabriel writes an epic, and Sam is unimpressed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Epic

Sam gives Gabriel a Bitchface of Massively Epic Proportions as he looks up from the modesty titled ‘The Awesome Gabriel’s Incredible Story of His Fantastical Adventures in a Foreboding Bunker.’ “Seriously?” He asks.

 

Gabriel grins and cracks his knuckles. “ _Seriously_.”

 

~

 

_In the beginning, there was a massive pile of chocolate candy. It was the world, and the world was it. However, there was a tiny baby angel named Gabriel at the very bottom of the pile. He’d need to eat his way through! It is the stuff of legend, but the small archangel Gabriel ate his way through it! From the wrappers emerged other archangels, and lesser angels, except for Castiel who wasn’t lesser at all._

_The archangels huddled together and said, “Let there be light.” And there was light!_

 

Sam’s brows furrow. “Wait... Did this... Actually happen?” He asks, perplexed.

 

Gabriel rolls his eyes and swings his feet up to rest on the table, narrowly missing both of their drinks. “What do you think, Samster?”

 

Dean bursts into laughter on the other side of the table. “Sam plus Hamster. Gabriel, I love you.”

 

Gabriel blows Dean a kiss before turning back to Sam. “In the beginning, _God_ created the Heavens and the Earth,” he says slowly.

 

“I know that,” Sam says, waving him off. “But... Was there chocolate involved?”

 

“Yes,” Gabriel answers. “Wait, no. Wait, when exactly are you talking about? Because there was chocolate on the scene once God got around to creating me, I made sure of that-”

 

“Yes, I quite fondly recall you revealing your new ‘invention’ to us by drenching us all in molten chocolate,” Michael says drolly as he looks us from his embroidery.

 

Gabriel doesn’t deny it. “But, no, there was no chocolate ‘in the beginning,’ so keep reading.”

 

_In the middle, there were a lot of other things that happened, but we don’t talk about them._

_Nowadays, things are different. I’m a lone adventurer on a lonely journey-_

Sam reaches to flip the page, then thinks better of it. “I swear to God, Gabriel, if your ‘journey’ is to get into Lucifer’s pants...” He trails off.

 

“Keep reading!” Gabriel responds.

 

_-to uncover the mysterious hidden secrets of the bunker. I’m not really lonely, but there are places in the bunker where even Lucifer can’t find me..._

“Wait, what?” Lucifer squeaks over Sam’s shoulder.

 

“I tell no lies,” is all Gabriel says.

 

_Did you know that there are elves living in the cabinet in the bathroom? Or that-_

“I thought that you guys kept your sex toys in that cabinet,” Dean mumbles into his coffee.

 

“It’s labeled ‘elf house,’ genius,” Gabriel answers, sticking his tongue out.

 

Dean responds in turn by sticking his tongue out in retaliation. “Yeah, which I thought was a euphemism of some sort.”

 

“Nope, Gabe isn’t that subtle,” Sam laughs.

 

“I thought I was the subtle one...” Lucifer trails off.

 

“Don’t think about that, Lulu,” Michael says. “Come on, let’s go cuddle.” He leads Lucifer out of the room, calling out a distracted, “Everyone’s invited,” over his shoulder.

 

Adam hops out of his chair to follow, as does Cas, which makes Dean jump and spill coffee all over his shirt. “God damn it,” he mutters.

 

“For God’s sake, Dean, don’t use my father’s name in vain,” Gabriel laughs, shaking his head. He closes the book in Sam’s hands. “Come on. Cuddle time. You can read all about my awesome adventures later.”

 

Sam doesn’t protest, but is already secretly making plans to visit the elves. “Can I just go to the bathroom first?”

 

“Of course- Wait. Those elves are real, yes, and no, they don’t like being disturbed. Now carry me,” Gabriel demands, holding his arms up for Sam to lift him.

 

“Make yourself light first,” Sam asks. “I’m not spraining my back again.”

 

“Come on! Big strong man like you?”

 

Sam laughs. “Fine, but just this once.”

 

(Spoiler alert: It wasn’t just that once.)

**Author's Note:**

> In case it didn't make much sense when Lucifer got upset about the word 'subtle,' in the Bible the serpent is 'subtler' than the other 'beasts of the garden,' so he doesn't like the term.


End file.
